Thursday, 7 August 2008
I am a Bad Neighbour. There! I feel better already for getting that off my chest! Let me elaborate...
Recently a couple of friends came round for dinner. It was a warm summer's evening so after we'd eaten and had a couple of glasses of wine, we decided to go and sit outside on the balcony. My block of flats directly faces the next block so when you're on the balcony you can see directly into people's kitchens and living rooms. It can get a bit 'Rear Window' at times, but we all surreptitiously observe each other. They watch me doing the washing up & having lunch & I watch them on the computer & sitting in front of the TV. My neighbours haven't done anything particularly outrageous (yet) but I live in hope.
Anyway, we were sitting there, slightly (ok very) drunk and my mate W starts asking me about who lives in which flats. Directly opposite me are a couple of girls sharing - one of them has a child. 'COOL!' He bellows, 'LESBIANS!' I'd forgotten, in my drunken state, how the sound can bounce off the two blocks and amplify.
I know, I know - for what it's worth, I'm still cringing... It, er, gets worse...
These two girls disappear for a bit & return in their pyjamas. One of them then starts kissing the window and then they begin having a pillow fight RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW! Not only that but they kept stopping and looking round at us! We were so drunk that it took about five minutes before it dawned on us what they were doing and why! Like I said, I'm still cringing and big respect to those girls for having a sense of humour.
Now, when I go and sit on the balcony, everyone immediately closes their blinds. I'm thinking of hanging a banner off the balcony saying, 'SORRY NEIGHBOURS. I WAS DRUNK, OK?'
Under the circumstances, I think it's only fair that I award myself 'Villian of the Day.'
Monday, 4 August 2008
Recently I was working with a German colleague. Now, this guy is nice enough but weird. We were working outdoors and it started to rain so I put on my Wellington boots. I was wearing cut-off cotton trousers that came just below the knee so, with my wellies on, there was no gap between the end of my trousers and the top of the boots.
My colleague, (remember - he's German) looks this outfit up and down and mumbles, almost to himself, 'You look like my grandfather', then continues, 'He was a Nazi'. As I was staring at him, literally lost for words, he leans in to me and says confidentially, 'I've got the photos to prove it'!!!!!
...Er, ok... I'm not sure whether he's a 'Villian of the Day' or just plain scary...